Imagine you have lived a life that has been pretty ok
You lived through your childhood
You recall bits and pieces from school
You think you did ok too back in school
You’ve gone to college or polytechnic
And eventually went to university too
Boy was that fun (and stressful at the same time)
You found a partner along the way
Graduated and got a job too
Wait a minute…
Have you truly been happy?
In your job?
Your relationship?
Your marriage?
Your life?
I mean yea, maybe you have been happy
Like really happy in these areas and more
And that’s perfect
I’m genuinely happy for you!
I’m glad all is well 🙂
However, if you are one of those who realize that you were never truly happy…
Then read on my friend…
Well there could be several reasons why you aren’t happy
One of which is that you are not the real you
You see, you could have been living your parents’ dreams
Fulfilling your parents’ wishes
Achieving goals for your parents and family
So they can be happy and proud of you
To be honest, there is nothing wrong with that
It’s just that you were in their shoes for so long…
That you haven’t been the real you in a long, long time…
And if you are starting to realize this
Then you might want to relearn how to be the real you again
That will begin the start of your journey towards your authentic self!
That will be the first step to you achieving your true happiness!
“Ok so McKing, I get it that I’ve haven’t been the real me in forever, is being authentic all there is to being happy?”
Great question!
Yes, there might be more to uncover
You see, after you start finding your authentic self
The next step is to figure out your values
What do you truly value in your career?
What do you truly value in your relationship/ marriage?
You need to figure out these values because otherwise, you will never satisfy your unconscious emotional desires
These values and unconscious emotional desires can help you in many ways
To drive you and motivate you
To fill you with passion and love
To bring joy and wonder
To an otherwise mundane life
So you started your journey by being authentic
And you are figuring out your values in various aspects of life
The last bit is to check if there is anything hindering you from achieving happiness
“Huh? Like what? What could that be?”
There could be various limiting beliefs that hinder one from happiness
For example, the belief of a lifetime of suffering or a fear of happiness
I know, I know
That sounds ridiculous
But hey, in my line of work
I’ve encountered various unique cases that seems “ridiculous” at times
So I can ensure you that it’s possible
Let me share two case studies of mine
The first case was a young 24 year old lady
She was adopted when she was 3 years old
However, her adoptive family turned out to be abusive
Both verbally and physically
They often cursed her as if adopting her brought bad luck to the house!
Little did she know how such a childhood will have adverse side effects…
You might be surprised to know that a baby can recognise his or her parents, especially the mother, even as an infant below age 3
And what happened was that when she was adopted
A question lingered
“Is it my parents don’t love me?”
And when she was verbally abused by her adoptive parents as if she brought bad luck
That suffering made her feel like “she was meant to suffer in her life”
She got into a relationship later on, but it was an abusive relationship
She got pregnant, but was forced to abort the fetus
That’s when she came crying to me
Whether she was meant to suffer and can never find happiness in this life
It broke my heart to hear of such a sad life
Wait until you hear the next one
This case is about a 45 year old lady
She was married but going through a divorce
She came to see me due to anger issues
During the hypnosis, she went into her unconscious mind
And the symbol of chains appeared
These chains were surrounding her body
All of a sudden, she broke down and cried
I calmed her down and she finally told me
“These chains represent my fear of happiness, I’m afraid to be happy… It’s like if I am happy, something bad might happen”
And she started shivering in fear
Then I had to help her resolve this fear
These 2 cases had something inside them that prevented them from being happy
The belief of a life of suffering
And the fear of happiness
And there could be other variations of limiting beliefs that hinder happiness too
Wait for me to encounter such beliefs and maybe I’ll share next time
So how to be truly happy?
To sum up
- Be authentic
- Find your values
- Resolve any limiting beliefs of happiness (if any)
And you will be well on your way to a life of true happiness!
PS. Delusions of happiness isn’t true happiness… there is a fine line of being positive and being delusional…
