Just in case you are wondering, this is a blog about life
The following can be applied to quite a few areas of life, from relationships, to career, your own business and so on
So the question is: to stay or not to stay?
Now what do I mean?
Naturally, when you get stuck in a situation, or get caught in a particular situation
You really have to consider whether you want to stay or not, don’t you?
But even if you have this question, what’s next?
How can you get out of this stuckness?
And that’s what I want to help you with today! 😀
Ok ok so the main thing about how to get out of such a tricky situation
In my honest opinion!!
Is a mismatch of values
Let me explain:
First up, what are values?
Values are essentially what is important or valuable to you, especially in a particular area of life
So you have relationship values, and you have career values, and friendship values etc
Naturally, the same values might be the same across, but they could also be different
For example, if you value honesty in a relationship, while this might be the same in friendship, it might not be the same in career, where you value leadership more than honesty
Ok that might not be the best example *shrug*
Now the next thing is this
Because everyone of us is unique
This also means, our values will be different from person to person
And while this seems pretty straight forward
I thought to highlight it here
So in this case, an example might be a girl might value love in a relationship, while the guy might value personal space
Now if they both understand each other’s values in the relationship, everything will be great
But if they don’t, the guy might think the girl’s need to always be together as invasion of personal space, while the girl might think the guy keep pushing her away and don’t love her anymore
And this is the mismatch bit I mention earlier
If you are in a career, and your values about a career are different from your career’s values or your colleagues’ values, then things can be quite stressful ain’t it?
Ok maybe your career has its own values, like a company values
Or maybe it doesn’t, and then you just match your values to the career you are in
Or relationship, or friendship, or volunteer organisation or whatever
Anyway, now you know its stressful or you are feeling stuck because of a mismatch
The next big question is, how do you find out about your values?
Now even if you thought that you already know your values, it might be good to just do this still yea?
Ok so prepare a piece of paper and write this question at the top
“What is important to you about <blank>?”
Where <blank> can be relationship, career, anything really
Now, the next thing to do is to write down what comes to mind
These are your values, and they should be around one or two words only, not a whole sentence
And if one of your answers has an “and”, please split them into 2 separate answers
Write at least 5 or more such answers
The more the merrier
Now you may be thinking this is it, but actually, it’s not
Once you got a few answers, look at the top one and you ask this question to yourself
“If I have nothing else but <number one value>, is that enough?”
So what will happen is that you will have a feeling, your intuition, your unconscious mind or whatever and it will tell you whether it is or it is not
If it is, then you found your topmost value in the <blank>
If it is not, then you did not find your topmost value in the <blank>
So basically, you will be able to stay in the <blank> if your topmost value is fulfilled yea?
But if you don’t know what is it, then how?
We got to find it!
So now you compare a value and the value directly below it, and ask this
“Between this value A and this value B, which one is more important?”
Now this will help you reorder your list of values!
Cool isn’t it? 😀
Ok i will wait until you find the topmost and reorder at least top 3 of your values
Ok! Hope you manage to do it quite well
And with your new found list of values, I hope you will be able to make the decision much better now! 😀
If you didn’t manage to get your topmost values, you can always check with me here
And remember that you can use this each time you get stuck in any aspect of life
Til then, share this with your bestest best friend!