What To Do When People Put You Down

Presentation Lee McKing and pushing against odds

You ever had that super cool idea?

And you loved it so much!

You were practically dying to tell people

That you started sharing to your friends and family

Literally everyone

But then…

They weren’t receptive to the idea…

They criticise it…

They said it was shallow… or worthless… or useless… or stupid…

That it wouldn’t kick off… you cannot monetise it… people wouldn’t buy it…

And that tiny spark of fire you had earlier…

Just started getting dimmer… and dimmer… and dimmer…

Until poof!

It’s gone

You lost hope

You lost passion

You got lost

You didn’t know what to do

Until the next spark of ideas come along

And the cycle repeat itself

And you wonder…

Can you ever get out of this?

Presentation maze white

Well the thing is, I’ve been there

Look at my trade for one thing ahahaha

I won’t bore you with my story of how I became a hypnotist (you can read it here)

That will share about my passion of wanting to help people

Today, I’ll be sharing how you can get out of that vicious cycle of banging walls with the people around you

And it’s not just ignoring them either

Cause we are social creatures

Generally speaking

Even if you are an introvert, you do need some social contact time to time either with close friends or family

So anyway, yes, I’ve been there

Years ago when I was deciding whether or not to be a hypnotist by profession

I did the usual

I shared the idea with people around me

I’m Catholic, and naturally, so is my family

Well first off, my mum wasn’t having any of it

To be honest, we had a bit of an argument when I told her I want to study hypnotism

She was rightfully angry

Because she thought hypnosis was black devil magic

Well, I used to have that thought too ahahaha

So when I shared with my family that I wanted to start my own practice to help people using hypnosis

Oh… the backlash!

My mum wasn’t happy with it

My aunts gasp in shock

My cousins question on the potential to make money, cause you know, it isn’t an accepted job here in Singapore

How about if I shared with my friends?

They will be accepting right?

Wrong!

Some of them looked at me in horror and shock

Others said hypnotist is a con job

And others said hypnosis isn’t real, it’s fake

And one or two friends will say “oh yea go for it” but you can hear the hesitation in their voices

So how now brown cow?

Presentation Lee McKing and entrepreneurs

That’s where one of my mottos in life comes in

“There is only one truth, and that is your truth”

I came to this realization through attending courses and seminars, as well as having an in depth understanding of the human mind and people in general

So what does this mean?

You see, you have your truth that you believe to be true

As do I

As do your dad, your mum, your partner, your friend, etc

Now what happens is that some of your truths about the world, may be similar to say, your friend, and you can have discussions as you share the same view

At the same time, there could be some truths that you hold, that are different from your friend’s truths, and either you have discussions about it, or you argue about it

By the way, please note that the truth you have in you is true for you, but it may not necessarily be correct in the world

The story of the six blind men and the elephant perfectly describes this!

elephant

The gist of it is that six blind men were curious about the elephant, and went to feel it in order to “see” it

The first touched the body of the elephant, and described it as a wall

The second felt the tusk, and said it was like a spear

The third grabbed the trunk, and thought it was like a snake

The fourth touched the leg, and said it was like a tree

The fifth felt the ear of the elephant, and described it like a fan

The sixth grabbed the tail, and exclaimed it was like a rope

And they argued about it!

Each felt a different body part and had “true” understandings of that body part, but instead of discussing about it, they argued instead

You can see how they had their own truths

What if they seek to understand from the others’ viewpoint?

Anyway, when you come to this realisation, that’s where you can hold your ground against naysayers

Note: this is especially if you know your idea inside out

Because you will know whether it will work or not!

Try this on for size

You have an idea, an amazing idea, and you share with a friend

Your friend tells you it’s a bad idea

Normally you get put down, feel low, and like cr@p

Now if you recall the one truth, and that is your truth

It also means that your friend’s truth is true for him

Meaning to say, based on his ideas, understanding and logic, it will be a bad idea

But it isn’t when based on your ideas, understanding and logic

Especially when you know so much more about the subject matter as compared to your friend

Hence the differing viewpoints of the same thing!

Lee McKing and depressed

And this happens all the time!

Just a couple of examples below

Business: it sounds like a bad idea; can you make money from it?; why don’t you get a proper job?

Relationship: I don’t think he/she is right for you; can he/she take care of you?; I just don’t like him/her

New hobbies: are you sure about it?; I don’t think it will work out; that’s just weird

Etc etc

You get my point

So anyway, what I usually like to say when I encounter naysayers, is this

“I appreciate you sharing this with me, and well, that might be true for you, but it isn’t necessarily true for me”

I crafted this sentence over repeated times and found this to be highly effective

First, you acknowledge their view, since it’s true for them (this also reduces potential arguments)

Next, you defend yourself with the second part of the sentence (this protects and shields your mind from the influence of the other person)

It’s a great way to distance yourself from being influenced in a negative manner by other people

And yet, keep the relationship together

Pretty cool huh?

And it’s true too

Someone who might think hypnosis is fake, has never seek to understand what hypnosis is all about in the first place

If so, how then can I take their truth to be my truth?

That will be rather stupid of me isn’t it?

This is how I protected my mind from being influenced in a way that would have made me give up being a hypnotist

I’m thankful I gained such knowledge, and hence, I hope to share this with you too πŸ™‚

PS as a side note, you might be wondering why I didn’t just describe to them how hypnosis works and all huh?

Here’s some added information then

Firstly, you can share some information but if your friend doesn’t want to listen, then you can just save your energy and talk about something else

That’s what I realise too

Take my mum for example

Early on, she was totally against me practising hypnosis

I share with her how it’s all psychology, but she doesn’t want to listen nor understand

It’s ok, I didn’t continue

What I did share though, over the years

Was how I helped each person using hypnosis to treat their issues

I didn’t share all the details, just enough to make her curious

And open eyes haha

For example, at the time of this writing, I might share with her that yesterday I hypnotised this lady for anxiety issues and she resolved issues from her family, as well as relationship

And today, she updated me that she felt so much better, felt free, calmer and no longer anxious, heck even her friend said she “looked jolly and livelier”

And I will remind my mum that all this was done in a single session

Essentially, I let each case and each testimonial speak for itself in order to convince, not just my mum, but the people who used to disregard the effects of hypnosis

Now what if I explained instead?

Since they didn’t want to listen at that time, they might counter argue with other bits of information

And if it goes in a direction where you don’t know how to argue back

Well, that will make you feel bad about it, the argument, the idea, even potentially the relationship

Hence my statement to prevent all this πŸ™‚

Hope all this helps!

Cheers!

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